Once in a blue moon
by Polkat
Summary: An outcast in his own world for something he cannot control Remus Lupin has finally found a kind of peace at Hogwarts, but still a constant fear nags at him: what happens when they find out what he really is? [Set during Lupin's 2nd year]


He still had the letter; looked at it occasionally.

Beneath the list of the headmaster's titles shone the words that still glistened though they had been written almost two years ago.

__

Dear Mr Lupin,

We are pleased to inform you that you have a place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 

Sirius had shown him his letter early on in their first year as if perhaps Lupin's was different and James had had his framed. It hung next to the red velvet of his bed curtains with a photo of his family below and one of him on a broomstick waving like a lunatic until he lost his balance and fell five feet into the dry grass. [Why he'd framed that particular picture would remain a mystery forever.] Both of his friend's letters were identical. Whenever Remus read his letter he wished it too had gone on to inform him on what books to purchase and that school began on the 1st of September. Instead McGonagall's spiky handwriting changed, becoming less sure of its self. _The headmaster has told me of the special circumstances surrounding your acceptance and would like me to inform you that arrangements have been made to accommodate you. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. _

"Remus?" James' heavy footsteps bounded up the wooden staircase and Remus shoved the parchment under his blankets. "Are you up here?"

He managed to pull a book into his hands as the door was flung open. "Yes," he replied rather redundantly, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. James grinned back and flopped onto the bed beside his friend pushing hair away from hazel eyes. "Obviously." Remus glanced down at the book, _The Standard Book of Spells Grade 2_, realised it was upside down and hurriedly put it back on his bedside table before James noticed. He raised his eyebrows, "you were looking for me?"

"Yer. Snape's got pink hair again…"

"You'd think with the highest IQ in the year Sirius could manage to be more inventive occasionally."

"Why mess with what works? Anyway if McGonagall asks…"

"We were up here doing our Charms homework," they chorused together before breaking into laughter, the letter momentarily forgotten. 

"How's the slimy git holding up?"

"He's figured out how to change it back now."

"How disappointing." 

They lapsed into silence. The photographic image of James fell from his broom. "Why do you even have that picture?"

James shrugged. "Dunno. Coming to lunch?"

"In a minute. I'll see you down there." 

"Alright." James picked himself up and wound his way out of the room, avoiding the dangerous piles of unidentified objects that were probably Sirius' socks. With his friend gone the smile faded gradually from his face and one hand felt gingerly under the cotton sheets for the crumpled parchment. He glanced at it again quickly before stuffing it back into his trunk. Some day soon one of his roommates would discover him staring miserably at the same emerald sentences.

But not yet.

He swung his legs over the side of the bed examined his hair half-heartedly in the mirror hung on the door and stooped to pull his bag from the floor, retrieved _The Standard Book of Spells_ and shoved in beneath the leather flap along with _One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi_ and his diary. He didn't need to look at the ink stained pages to know it was full moon tomorrow. He glanced at his reflection once more, grimacing at the grey sheen of his skin. It would be flu this month he decided absently, certainly plausible enough considering his appearance. He sighed and opened the door and walked slowly down the stairs keeping a tight grip on the handrail, fingernails biting into the polished wood.

*

Everyone was already seated by the time he strode down the narrow gap between the house tables. Sirius greeted him with a hearty bellow, before turning back to his food as Remus flung the satchel violently under the table where it burst open, spewing his books over the flagstones. "You should stop doing that," James pointed out helpfully as _Transfiguration [Turn your friends into rabbits in five easy steps!]_ slid into his foot. "Or you could get a new bag," he added thoughtfully, passing it back after grimacing at the cover. "You've actually read this? It looks rubbish." 

"It is. Neither you nor Sirius are sporting large furry ears despite the book's guarantee." He shovelled food onto his plate knowing he should be hungry stared at it for a while but eventually just prodded it around, creating gravy rivers around islands of vegetables.

"You look dreadful," Sirius remarked cheerfully into the chatter of other students.

Remus' glare shifted from his food to his friend. "Thanks for noticing."

"No problem," the other beamed, helping himself to Remus' carrots.

"You have your own," James observed leaning over the table to reach the pear drops. 

"I know but where's the fun in that?" He stopped to grin charmingly at Amanda Burgess who lowered her eyelashes and pretended to be engrossed in a conversation her friends were having about where Dumbledore's office was located. "Besides he wasn't eating them."

"I think that rabbit spell's had more of an effect than you thought," James joked pathetically. 

Remus tried a weak grin and concentrated on building a fort out of his mashed potato as his friends argued around him. 

"…But rabbits don't actually like carrots," Sirius was saying and Remus allowed himself to wonder just where his friend had found this _gem_ of knowledge. He pulled his fork moodily upwards until a wobbly tower emerged. Someone was calling his name but he wasn't really listening. He had just started to create miniature ramparts when "Remus!"

"What?" he snapped irritably as the east wing collapsed. "Now look what you've done!"

"We were wondering whether you were alright," James asked, cowering a little in the force of his friend's rage.

He felt his facial muscles relax until he knew he no longer looked angry merely tired and much older than his thirteen years. "No… you know, I think I'm coming down with the flu…"

"Again?" Sirius interupted. "But you had the flu about two months ago."

"I did?" _Damnit. He'd have to think up some new ailments next month. _

"Yer."

"Perhaps it's a recurring illness or something, anyway I think I'm going to go to Madam Lilk now before it gets worse." He got up and stumbled from the tables and out of the great hall, the eyes of the school following him, the whispers swirling up as the end of his cloak disappeared from the doorway.

****

Author's Note: [You knew you it was coming] While writing Secret Keepers I realised just how much I loved the Marauders… thus this fic. I am also fanatical about Lupin who is my second favourite character [after Lockhart] so I decided to write this. Yes its been done before, yes probably better but no, I don't give a monkey's second cousin twice removed on his mother's side [even if I had one][which I don't] about that. I just enjoyed writing this. Please have got here… and please review once you have as it will make me very happy [except if you hate it because then I will just be minorly annoyed.] Anyway yes constructive criticism is, as always, not particularly welcome but give it anyway as it will help me improve if I manage to stop sulking long enough to read it. Any suggestions about plot though… 

Thanks for reading!

Oh and read Founders [coz nobody has] if you liked this…or even if you didn't. I'd really appreciate it.

P.S. Where is Peter? Try and figure it out.


End file.
